UPN Executives Say No to Hosokawaís ëHanginí in Lab Eí

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ After six months on the bargaining table and rejections from all three major networks, FOX, the WB and Columbia Public Access, ìHanginí in Lab E,î the new sitcom from Dr. Michael Hosokawa received a deathblow yesterday, when executives at UPN rejected Hosokawaís offer of $2,000 per episode for an early morning time slot to follow reruns of ìFamily Matters.îÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ

ìItís been an uphill battle,î Hosokawa said. ìWe always knew it would be. After all, this is a new approach to television. Itís a hard sell, especially when youíre dealing with these old network executives, brought up in the traditional television system. Theyíre stubborn, afraid of change. But pretty soon, theyíre going to have to change or step aside, because this is the future of television programming.î

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìHanginí in Lab E,î which takes place in a windowless room in the basement of an unidentified building, is about the hijinks of eight medical students and their hapless tutor, Dr. Drake. The only other character is Debbie, who, in a role reminiscent of Schneider on ìOne Day at a Time,î stops by once or twice per episode to fix a projector or deliver a wisecrack.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìThis is reality television, uncut and pure as it comes,î Hosokawa said. ìThe creators of ëBig Brotherí had a similar idea, but weíve taken it a step further, eliminated the fluffóthe narrator, music, plot twists. In the end, itís just nine people at a table, with nothing but a dictionary, slide projector and light box. Maybe some snacks.

ìItís a study in human nature, a window into the important, but often neglected psychosocial realm of personal relations. And if nothing else, itís damn funny.î

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Or perhaps not.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Audiences who screened the pilot episode of ìHangin in Lab Eî were unanimous in their panning of nearly all elements of the program, particularly the charactersí frequent use of inside and ìunfunnyî jokes. The second episode fared no better, as evaluations from the first were not taken into account during subsequent script development.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìI personally review every evaluation,î Hosokawa said. ìAnd if there is concern among members of the audience, I am very willing to meet with them, appease them, and justify our continued neglect of their suggestions.î

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ The target audience, while assuaged by Hosokawaís reassurances, continued to react very negatively to certain members of the cast.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìThe characters were so obnoxious,î one viewer said. ìThe guy who played Ambar, with the brain-dead mumbling act, was that some kind of shtick or does he actually talk that way? It would be enough to drive me crazy if only I cared to listen.î

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìAnd that Kim girl,î the viewer continued. ìEvery time she started reading from her paper, Iíd just leave for the bathroom, take a newspaper, come back 20 minutes later, and sheíd still be going. Have these writers never heard of editing?î

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ In addition to audience dissatisfaction, ìHangin in Lab Eî was plagued from the beginning with internal strife.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Brock Terry, originally cast for the part of Ted Bushey, left the set two hours into taping of the first episode. Hosokawa postponed shooting until lunch, then replaced Terry with veteran actress Megan Spitz, who assumed the role of Jen, the new kid.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Terry, though not in contact with Hosokawa or former cast mates, has since been involved in several off-Broadway productions, a touring company of Grease, and can be seen this December in Oceanís Eleven, an action-adventure flick starring Brad Pitt and George Clooney.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Terry, however, was the least of Hosokawaís concerns, as Hosokawa was destined to wage a long battle with the rest of the cast over the issue of script availability.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ After taping of the first episode, Hosokawa decided to stop distributing scripts to members of the cast, insisting that the show would work better if lines were improvised.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìI donít even know why they want the scripts,î he said. ìHonestly, the lines they come up with on their own are better than anything our writers can create.î ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Unconvinced, but looking to compromise, several cast members requested scripts be distributed after taping of the shows, so they could see how their improvised lines compared to those originally written for them.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìI think itís important,î Ben Liess said, ìso we can make sure we said everything we were supposed to say and so that, if we didnít, we can memorize any lines we missed, just in case weíre asked to recite them at some later time.î

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Other cast members wondered why, if, the scripts were going to be kept from actors, they were ever written in the first place.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìItís such a waste of time,î Angie Fornkohl-Blum, who plays herself, said. ìIt turns into this game of ëguess what Iím thinking,í where we just keep improvising, throwing things out, but the director is still waiting, still prompting us with vague hints about what we ëshould be saying.í God knows Iíve been working too long to put up with this shit.î

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Fornkohl-Blum also complained that a choice few of her colleagues had in fact been receiving scripts before taping.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìI guess thatís what really annoys me,î she said. ìI mean, it doesnít seem fair. Iím sitting here, racking my brain, wasting my time trying to come up with the magic one-liner I havenít yet spoken, while some other guy, who was given his lines in advance, finished 40 minutes ago and is already out in the hall, free to jack around.î

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ With his sitcom rejected by nearly every legitimate outlet, Hosokawa refuses to give up his dream of turning a profit. He is currently auctioning on E-Bay all three episodes of ìHanginí in Lab E,î with a starting price of $2.50 and, as of yet, no bidders.

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìThese are never-before-aired episodes,î Hosokawa said. ìJust like the ëBen Stiller Show,í also misunderstood, also canceled before its time, these tapes are destined to become a cult classic.î

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìProbably not,î film critic Martin Roche said. ìëThe Ben Stiller Showí was clever, had a sizable core audience of die-hard fans and several cast members who later went on to fame. Conversely, ëHanginí in Lab Eí was dull, had no core audience of any size or commitment whatsoever, and lacked a single recognizable or even likable personality, except of course for the guy who played Ted Bushey. But then he never appeared in an episode.î