Medical Student Discovers Power of Invisibility in Resident Clinic

 

            "Somehow I always knew that there was something special about me."  Third year medical student Mark Hamblin has had a funny feeling about himself for years.  He grew up as a normal child in the Kansas City suburb of Lee's Summit, completely unaware of his destiny as a superhero.  Mr. Hamblin is not like the rest of us.  He has been given a gift.  You see, Mr. Hamblin can make himselfÖ invisible.

           

"There is no telling how long I've had this power.  Maybe since birth, I don't know."  This mild mannered medical student was given hints of his special purpose while in his first year of medical education.  He recalled that he had the first glimpse of his superhuman ability while following a physician through the Ambulatory Clinical Experience (ACE), which pairs pre-clinical medical students with physicians throughout the community to familiarize and acclimate students to medicine. 

 

"When we were given our first ACE assignments I was a little disappointed because while most of my other classmates were paired up with attending physicians and I was assigned a Family Practice resident.  I look back on that moment and realize that it was fate."  What seemed like a cruel hand to have been dealt ended up being a window into his new life.

 

"I put on my shirt, tie, and short white coat and headed over to the Green Meadows Family Practice Clinic.  When I got there I had a feeling that I couldn't quite describe at the time, but readily identify now.  Although I followed the resident as he saw patients I kept having this feeling that I was being ignored.  As it was my first ACE, I just chalked it up to being new to the whole thing.  I got that same feeling for the other three times I went for his clinic.  It wasn't until the next block when I had ACE with an attending that I even realized that something weird had happened on my previous experience."

 

Mr. Hamblin put the strange experience behind him as he completed the rest of his pre-clinical years.  "I didn't really put much thought into it, but it was always in the back of my mind.  Sometimes I would have dreams where I would go to school naked or just in my underwear, but no one around me seemed to notice.  I didn't know what significance they had, so I put them behind me.  I never realized that they weren't dreams at all, they were premonitions."

 

Mark Hamblin's superpowers may have been left undiscovered to this day if he had not begun his third year.  He recalls the moment when he realized that he was not a mere mortal.  "It was the fourth day of my Ob/Gyn rotation.  We were assigned to follow a resident for their clinic once a week.  I showed up as directed, once again with my short white coat.  Then I had that feeling again.  This time I knew that something was not quite right."

 

"I followed the resident as she went though her clinic.  She would see patients and do things and not even tell me.  The rest of the staff wouldn't speak to me or tell me what they were doing either.  Sometimes the resident would walk into a room and not even introduce me.  I was hoping that I would be able to get some hands-on experience in this clinic but instead I was completely ignored.  No patient interviews, no assistance with procedures, no pelvic exams, nothing.  I began to feel that maybe I had offended them in some way, then I realized that maybe they didn't even know that I was there!"

 

"Not only could they apparently not see me, they were also unable to hear me.  My power extended not just to the resident, but to the nurses, patientsÖ hell, everyone there.  At first I felt like a voyeur or a ghost just walking around observing, unable to interact with my environment.  But with some time, I realized what an incredible talent I had.  I went through the rest of the day relishing my newly discovered power of invisibility."

 

It was at this point that Mark Hamblin-Medical Student became Transparator-Superhero.  "All I have to do is put on my short white coat and I am rendered invisible to the medical world.  I've tried out this new power in pretty much every resident clinic.  I had thought about using my gift to spread goodwill to all.  That's not really my thing, so I pretty much spend my clinic day staring at the patients that look funny."

 

Transparator's gift is not impervious.  Just like kryptonite to Superman, necessity can break down his power of invisibility.  "Sometimes a resident will look in my general direction and say something like 'Could you take this to the lab?' It is only after agreeing to and completing the assigned task that I am able to regain my transparency.  My powers are useless in the face of necessity."

 

            Just like Hercules's strength, the famed short white coat gives Transparator most of his power but has also been his downfall.  "I heard a rumor that medical records has free doughnuts and sandwiches.  Free meals, right? Well that is where I met my arch-nemesis, Medrecwo."  Medical Records Woman was a mild-mannered secretary before being given her superpower of food supervision.  Like all great nemeses, Medrecwo turned to evil after her power overwhelmed her with self-aggrandizement.

 

            With her turn to evil, Medrecwo was able to see through Transparator's shroud of invisibility.  "At first she caught me by surprise.  I figured that she couldn't see me, just like everyone else in the room.  It seemed as though the same short white coat that brought me my power in resident clinic was like a giant beacon for Medrecwo.  She overpowered me with her superiority over food distribution.  I should never have underestimated such a formidable adversary.  You better believe that I'll be ready next time."

 

            It is with those courageous words that Transparator claimed his place as a stalwort in the fight for student empowerment.  "Fighting for student rights and staring at funny looking people really takes it out of me.  I don't mind it, but sometimes I miss being just Mark Hamblin, medical student."