IQUITOS, PERU ñ Negotiations between the decades-old trade partners, the Peruvian Logging Industry and the American Paper Association, were abandoned Saturday when officials could not reach a mutually agreeable resolution.
Peru claims that, since August 2000, the US has monopolized and demanded too much from Peruís single largest export: paper-grade wood pulp. On the other hand, the American Paper Association says the need for wood pulp is justified, as paper is a requisite for education.
Vince Larson, Production Manager of Xerox had this to ad, ìYeah, we tried to explain to Peru that we needed more paper to supply schools across the country. Actually, and youíre not going to believe this, but it comes down to one school, one individual. Ever heard of Sarah Wiederholt? Me neither until a little over a year ago.î
As part of a forward-thinking curriculum, the MU Medical School asks its students to teach one another. One popular way students achieve this directive is through the distribution of weekly ìobjectives,î student-researched handouts detailing learning concepts.
Michael Hosokawa, Assistant Dean at the school explains, ìTraditionally, students make their objectives one or two pages long. Sometimes, and let me emphasize sometimes, three pages is acceptable. Well, Sarah Wiederholt up and decided that the norm doesnít apply to her. God, some of her objectives are 8, 9, sometimes 12 pages long. One of them I read had a table of contents. Itís no wonder weíve cornered the worldís paper industry.î
At press time, The AntiCrist could not reach Peruvian officials for comment, but a statement released by fax from Gen. Heffe Espanoza, Peruís Secretary of State warned, ìWe see through the United Statesí hoax. The Peruvian Army doesnít need negotiations for the problems of one individual. Take this as a warning, Sarah Wiederholt: SIGHT? PSR? Yes, we have operatives in both. Change your ways, or suffer the consequences.î