Medical Student Reunited with Famous Father

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Jeff Mudrick, UMC medical student and one-night-stand accident, successfully ended the search for his true parentage.Ý After much blood, sweat, tears, and genetic testing, Jeff was overjoyed in finding his biological father.Ý However, much to Jeffís chagrin, the news is even sweeter, as it turns out that his father is rich and famous; none other than Willow himself, Warwick Davis.Ý

Recently, I spoke with both gentlemen and Megan Lear, Jeffís fiancÈe, for an exclusive interview, the transcript of which follows:Ý

TheBeardedDean:Ý So Mr. Mudrick, tell our innumerable readers about the near-epic search for your father.

Jeff Mudrick: Uh.Ý Well, it was really long and hard, but itís definitely been worth it.Ý This is really beyond my wildest dreams. Iím practically a celebrity now.Ý My dadís a genuine ìEwokî.Ý Now thatís star power! [Gesticulates excitedly]

TBD:Ý Thatís just great; I can see your excitement.Ý Now, Mr. Warwick, how did you come to find out about Jeff?

Warwick Davis:Ý Well, first things first, letís get this little fact straight: I only took the (expletive) blood test because it was court-ordered.Ý Like I donít have enough (expletive) problems without having to worry about a faulty condom twenty-four years ago!

TBD:Ý Do I detect a hint of negativity, Mr. Warwick?Ý It seems that you donít reciprocate Jeffís elation.Ý Jeff, how do you respond to that?Ý

JM:Ý Above all this answers many questions my mom could never answer.Ý Hey, I thought I was maybe a little short for a normal person, but now I know that Iím like king-size for a midget!

TBD:ÝÝ I see.Ý Megan, youíre Jeffís fiancÈ, how do you feel about all of this?

ML:Ý You know, Jeff and my home videos havenít really been moving off the shelves at OldÈ Un Theater all that well, but now I think we start marketing under midget porn.Ý Once weíve broken into that genre, weíll be sitting on a gold mine.Ý Cha-ching!Ý Plus, we could maybe get some money for unpaid child-support or something.Ý Wasnít that guy a Gremlin in one of the Star Trek movies or something?Ý

TBD:Ý RiiiiightÖwell, anywayÖback to you Jeff.Ý Has all of this got you thinking about a career in Hollywood, following in your famous fatherís footsteps?

JM:Ý Well, right now Iím planning on staying in school, I mean, Iíve got a ring to pay off for godís sake, but maybe I could do a little stunt work for the lucky charms guy or something.

WD:Ý Are you kidding me?Ý I wouldnít go see that guy if he were dressed up like an Ewok kicking the crap out of Leprechaun 8 with Willow and all the Munchkins watching!!!

TBD:Ý OkayÖcalm down buddy, itís going to be okay.Ý Well, I think maybe itís time to wrap this thing up.Ý Gentlemen and Ms. Lear, thank you all for being here today.

JM:Ý Hey, you bet.Ý It was great.Ý

ML:Ý Uh, right.Ý Whatever Jeff said.Ý

WD:Ý Go to hell, all of you.Ý

That concluded a wonderful interview with two men, small in stature, but personalities larger than life.Ý And Megan Lear.Ý