M1ís Confuse Fellow Classmate for Emeritus Professor

 

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ With the end of the first block drawing near for first-year medical students at the University of Missouri-Columbia, the reminder of how little M1ís know of each other is made quite clear.Ý Painfully clear, it would seem, for first-year student Kendall Killgore who, nine weeks into the new year, is still largely identified as an emeritus professor.

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ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìAt first I thought it was funny,î said Mr. Killgore of the deluge of indignities thrust upon him.Ý ìOkay, okay so Iím the oldest guy in the class.Ý I get the joke.îÝ Kendall Killgore soon realized that his classmates were not joking.

 

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Thinking Mr. Killgore was a retired biochemistry professor, Andrew Bauer asked for his help early in the block.Ý ìMan, I just figured that he was some old guy who still hangs around his old haunt.Ý I asked him a couple of questions about transaminases, you know, to make him feel like heís still a valued member of the faculty.îÝ Mr. Bauerís inquiry was greeted with an expression of abject bewilderment.Ý ìHe just threw his arms in the air and then mumbled something about transsexuals or transvestites or something.î

 

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Paradoxically, the exchange solidified Mr. Bauerís intuition that Mr. Killgore was an emeritus professor.Ý "I figured that he was too old for that kind of stuff.Ý I shouldnít have asked him anything beyond Pasteur.î

 

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ ìThat was just the start of it,î said Mr. Killgore, ìDebbie Ferguson once gave me the tutor guide, block directors have asked me to submit questions, and Iíve been asked to write letters of recommendation.î

 

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ In addition Kendall Killgore has been nominated for several faculty awards by his peers.Ý Vineesha Arelli spoke of her choice for best block 1 instructor.Ý ìI picked Dr. Killgore (sic) because he seems so dedicated.Ý Not only did he show up for all of the biochemistry lectures, he helped out with anatomy lab, histology, and PBL.Ý I feel good knowing we have such dedicated faculty.î

 

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Even those close to Mr. Killgore were confused of his role.Ý ìI meet for a study group to go over the weekís objectives.Ý Last week the others gave me a card thanking me for taking the time to make sure they were studying the right stuff.Ý What the heck, man?î

 

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Mr. Killgore has taken the constant misidentifications in stride. ìIt could be worse.Ý I mean Brian Silverman gets asked daily for him to sign someoneís Kenny G. poster.î

 

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Those few M1ís aware of Kendall Killgoreís true identity have found the mass-delusion of the rest of the class to be unfortunate but understandable.Ý Jake Spain said ìHeís going on, what, his seventieth birthday?Ý You have to figure that it would take some people a little while.î

 

ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ Mr. Spain, in fact, found several advantages to Mr. Killgoreís situation as he pondered if Mr. Killgore ìcould use his student discount and senior citizen discount at the same time.Ý Movies would be a buck-fifty like they were when he was a kid watching the ëtalkiesí at the local ënickelodeoní.