The Gamma Missouri chapter of Alpha Omega Alpha, the traditionally staid medical honors society, has a new face. And body. And sex appeal.
Forget the AOA of Shane Bradley and Fausto Rodriguez. Adam Clapper wouldnít get past the velvet rope for this groupís meetings. The list of recently elected AOA members reads like a Whoís Who of schoolgirl fantasy icons. And it looks even better.
ìGRT isÖ ohÖ delicious,î said Rockbridge High sophomore Stacey Allen of recently elected AOA member GR Thompson.
Allen, along with dozens of classmates, has spent the last two weeks rushing off from school, not to catch Carson Daly on Total Request Live, as was her routine just months ago, but instead to wait outside the Maryland Avenue Garage in hopes of spotting Thompson, James McIntosh, Adam Griessemer or one of her other favorite men of medical honor.
ìAOA? More like AO-Gay. Thatís what I would have said if youíd asked me about those dorks last year,î said Allenís friend, freshman Katie Lewis. ìI mean, seriously? Dipanjan Banerjee? Yeah right. Iíd sooner fantasize about a middle-aged, married, out of work, Parkinsonís-stricken Michael J. Fox.î
To Dr. Gregory Renner, Ear Nose and Throat specialist and AOA faculty sponsor, such complaints had become all too common in recent years. He felt the AOA was losing its luster, itís ìsexiness.î He believed the organizationís age-old commitment to ìavoidÖ the commercial spiritî was unsuited to a modern era of media savvy youngsters.
ìTeenagers today are being lambasted with so many images and ideas, people and products. Itís not enough anymore to be smart or involved. You have to have that something extra, that ìitî quality. Scott Bayo had ìitî in the 70ís. In the 80ís, it was Ralph Macchio. James Van Der Beek had ìitî for the latter part of 1998. The 00ís, I think youíll see, will belong to an entirely new kind of man. A man with sex appeal and scholarshipî
That kind of man, while present in medical school classes of years past, was rarely selected for AOA membership. Other factors, such as leadership, achievement and professionalism had given the edge to more plain-faced classmates, who looked great on paper but only fair in the flesh. This year, revised selection criteria, based on Rennerís assessment of which students would likely compose the cast of a hypothetical WB series on medical education, allowed the formation of what critics are calling ìthe hippest, hottest AOA on record.î
ìThis is a sexy batch of buns and weíre serving them hot,î said Renner of his four male leads. ìOf course, I threw in Mary McBride as the rotating love interest for the fellas to pass about. And then, I included Marcy Swogger as the cute but aloof bookworm whose distance would eventually be traversed by one of the guys taking off her glasses, unbinding her hair, and telling her how beautiful she is. At that point, sheíd put down the books and join the cool kids.î
Renner also noted the election to AOA of more traditionally-qualified, academically outstanding students such as Clint Humphrey and Jeff Willis, whom he noted, ìwould be great for the roles of anonymous students, you know, like those nameless classmates who protested Donnaís threatened expulsion for drinking at the prom in episode 27 of Beverly Hills 90210.î
As female fans eagerly await the next round of AOA selections, their appetites may be quelled somewhat by a ìMen of AOAî calendar, scheduled for release by Christmas and featuring four membersóThompson, Griessemer, McIntosh and Spitleróin two poses each, and thus covering just eight months.
ìWe donít have the ëmaterialí to cover the remaining months,î Renner said. ìBut by September of next year, we should have cleared out Humphrey, Willis and the rest of the dust and have some real beauties to take their places.î
If the new selection criteria hold for next year, likely picks will include Jason Reinberg, Torin Shear, Chris Hempel and perennial bad-boy Josh Alpers.
ìIím sure theyíll let in a couple lamos, like Fedyk, Hoyt or old man Watson,î said Jeff Junior 8th grader Keri Lambert. ìAs long as they pick Hempel, Iíll be happy. Heís so adorable. And he went to school with my Dad.