M1 Scott Lucchese Appeals to Class for Guest Lecturer Position

 

Dear fellow M1ís,

I am writing today to appeal to your sympathy, patience, and good judgment.Ý For those of you who donít know me, allow me to introduce myself, my name is Scott Lucchese.Ý If the name doesnít ring a bell many of you may know me as the middle aged bald guy who sits up front and likes to interrupt the professors.Ý Today I write to advocate myself as a regular guest lecturer for the class of 2006.Ý Like many of you, I have been disillusioned with many of the lecturers so far this year. I find myself having to interject lengthy monologues in which I clarify, expound, and sometimes just ramble on and on just to make it interesting.Ý The truth is I know more than all of them combined and I can prove it!Ý OK well I canít exactly prove it but I think it would be beneficial for both myself and the class if you just allowed me one single hour lecture per month just to get it all out of my system.Ý I can give you several reasons why you should allow me this single solitary lecture per month.

First, if you give me this opportunity, I swear on everything holy that I will remain completely silent for the rest of the month (but only during lecture, there is in fact no way anyone could ever get me to shut up for longer than 5 minutes in PBL).Ý This would allow me to see myself as the genius that I am, up there on stage imparting a stream of rambling wisdom flowing like a river to my younger peer counterparts. You may be thinking, ìScott, you know we canít do this, the OME will never let us.îÝ Never fear, the lecturers would be so happy for me to keep my yap trap closed throughout the rest of the month, they would pressure the OME to comply.

Second, I would provide some of the most riveting lectures you have ever heard about thousands of different topics.Ý It turns out, I know almost everything in the entire world.Ý Many of you wonder why I waited till now to start med school.Ý Well the reality is I have sailed the seven seas and sought wisdom and understanding from the four quarters of the earth.Ý I am a living well of knowledge and information.Ý Believe it or not I also dabble in politics and have a few formed opinions about varying issues facing us as future physicians.Ý I would also be glad to inform you and persuade you to my way of thinking politically.Ý I donít want you to think that these lectures will be just strictly business though.Ý I love entertainment and I promise to fill you all in on all the best episodes of TV shows you missed in the 70ís (It turn out thatís when I was in my prime, baby!).Ý Furthermore, I pledge to spend at least one full hour expounding the fascinating and pivotal role of William Shatner in the Star Trek series (I picked up this little tidbit of wisdom at the last Star Trek Convention).

In closing, I like to hear myself speak.Ý Sometimes just sitting around the house talking to myself doesnít cut it though.Ý I need something more dramaticÖ.a true audience to which I could share my near-infinite wisdom.Ý Not only would this be truly therapeutic for me as an egomaniac, but you would all get monologue-free lectures for the rest of this year (no promises for next year though).Ý Everyone goes home happy here, right?Ý So e-mail Dr. Hosokawa today and tell him you are ready for Scott Lucchese as your new monthly guest lecturer.