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The idiotic things they said. Michael R. Christian, who was elected president of the first year-class, will not be given a political honeymoon. Medical school, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Are
You Ready For Some Football? A certain loveable M2 is working on a backup career Unauthorized
Flyovers Protested The failed medical school merger has led to more changes here in Columbia.
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Looking For A Quickie M4 Josh Alpers would like to break up with his current signifcant other, and needs a good-looking underclassmen to help. He wants out, but doesn't know how to tell her, so if someone is willing to sleep with him and give him a good excuse, he would greatly appreciate it. No experience necessary, Furha Cossor need not apply. TBD Treasure Hunt Click here for the treasure hunt details! M2 Classes Loses Another Member Ryan A. Legrand became the latest casualty in the M2 class battle to keep the number of graduates above 85. Legrand was officially dismissed from the MU School of Medicine after achieving the lowest score ever on the PBL test. While all deliberations of the CSP are confidential, a copy of Legrandís test found their way to the internet at www.thesmokinggun.com. The copy of the test revealed that Legrand forgot to order an HPD. ěHey, it was just a matter of time,î said M2 Bola Oladiran. ěIím surprised he lasted this long.î
Blake Stunned Again For the 19th consecutive
year, Dr. Robert Blake has deemed the first year class ěthe worst
class ever.î Green Meadows Clinic Put Out To Pasture The Green Meadows clinic, a mainstay of family practioners in the area, will be closing its doors at the end of the year. The space has been sold to Josh Kroenke, who plans to make a large covered parking lot where he can park his Humvee while he clanks shots from downtown. The affected physicians plan to operate out of the deserted MegaMarket, where they will offer low-quality care at rock-bottom prices. M1 Sells Car For IPC With the coming of Block 2 IPC for M1's comes the annual rush on physical exam equipment. In an effort to show up his friend Jared Dyer, who purchased a Littmann Master Cardiology Stethoscope, M1 Danny Liu sold his 1998 Honda Civic in order to put a down payment on his own HRCT scanner. If anyone would like a CT, Danny can be found living out of the PBL printer room, as he no longer can afford the rent on his apartment. Return of Psychiatry IPC Haikus What? Speak up you whore! CBIG to forgo MSAC Matching Funds Sarah Lovinger,
president of the newly formed Chris Busken Interest Group, announced
the organization will forgo MSAC matching funds. Under current School
of Medicine policy, organizations are eligible for MSAC funds after
one year. By forgoing MSAC funds, CBIG will be able to raise and spend
an unlimited amount of money. Ovaries for Sale Information Technology Services has limited the buying and selling of goods via e-mail to "products of non-organic origin" following a series of messages from Judy Nolke. The UM system employee began offering her ovaries through the School of Medicine's list serve for a reported $1000 each, obo. Nolke responded by saying, "I could easily get $5000 on eBay."
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