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For 21st Consecutive Year, Blake Dubs Class 'Worst Ever'
M4 Under Investigation for Deaths An M4 student is under investigation for the mysterious deaths of six patients on the child health service A number of students had unfavorable comments removed from their evaluations after submitting their Dean's Letters.
A group of M1's unwittingly carried out assault and batter on a member of the hospital staff this week.
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Pfeiffer and Eye Make Up
M4 Brent Pfeiffer, who turned heads last month when he publically called M4 Ellen Eye a "dumb b----" in a mass e-mail, has taken the first step in making ammends. He has offered to have solar power panels installed on his head and have the energy harnessed to run Eye's Palm Pilot. "Literature" Finally Found!
For all the students who have wondered what exactly "the Literature" is and where it can be found, the question has been answered. "The Literature" is actually a three-by-five spiral notebook and it can be found in Scott Luchesse's basement, next to the minifridge. Submissions Welcomed The Bearded Dean, disseminator of the truth for so many years, is seeking active those enterprising students with too much time on their hands and literary talent to submit articles and perhaps even take over the operation. Otherwise the website stops production in May when the current staff graduates. In(Cest)tegrated Residency Program Grows The family medicine department at MU, often touted as one of the best in the country, is seeking to flout the rankings and retain more MU graduates. After expanding the integrated residency program to accept six members from the Class of 2006, they have decided to accept seventy-five MU graduates from the Class of 2007. Due to cost constraints, they will no longer access to the residents lounge or free tuition due to cost constraints, Additionally, since there will not be enough clinic space for the new interns, all integrated residents will be required to do their continuity clinics through home visits. Meeting the M1’s Another M1 orientation week concluded with recently engaged M4 Jack Galbraith receiving the annual award for ‘Sleaziest Upperclassmen,’ as he attempted to obtain phone numbers from no less than six incoming M1’s. “I swear I was only going to call them about the next CMDA meeting. Honest,” said Galbraith. Shame on you Jack. Shame on you. A/C Review A/C Review is only eight months away. Start working on those skits and movies now before it is too late. Melissa Myers Wins Resident of the Year Award After a recount of the closest resident of the year award voting ever, intern Melissa Myers prevailed over Dr. Ray Silliman. Myers is well known among students for her cool under pressure, her strong interpersonal skills, and commitment to teaching.
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The recent bombing threats in London are having widespread effects. 
