 |
||||
| Top
Stories: |
News
Briefs: |
Links: |
||
|
Disturbing news from our investigative reporters about one of our more controversial groups. Medical student alcoholism has a new enemy.
|
|
New Email AddressContact us now at TheBeardedDean@gmail.com. Hotmail \stinks, so please contact us here from now on (though we will still periodically check the old one).Black History Month Cancelled Black History Month was officially cancelled today when the Reverend Jesse Jackson looked in the mirror and realized he is actually brown. Rev. Jackson announced that all celebrations will be moved to March and join the celebrations of the already established Brown History Month.
Read more in the adjoining article in the left column For all those students who can’t stand the thought of leaving the old yellow-brick, the MU Bearded Dean Offices Set Ablaze In a move retroactive to an article published two years ago, Bearded Dean offices in Islamabad were attacked and set on fire as a result of an article purportedly defaming Islam and Allah. Read the article here. As a result, we have temporarily recalled all Bearded Dean journalists from the Middle East, but will leave the ones in Pakistan so they may answer for their heinous crimes. People who attended the "Major Announcement" of Governor Blunt, Dean Crist, and MU President Elson Floyd on January 26th walked away very disappointed at the content of their message. While no major plans are in the works to improve education or medical school funding, all three apparently saved a bundle on their car insurance by switching to Geico. Surgery Grand Rounds to Feature Janitor The Hugh E. Stephenson Department of Surgery has announced it will host James “Jimbo” The MU department of child health has generously offered to give med/peds resident Melissa Myers to the medicine department to work full-time there. In an act of shocking reciprocal generosity, the medicine department has offered to give her to the peds department to work full time. If she can’t find work in the next week, the department of surgery has offered to take Myers to have her work as Doty’s bi**h. The M4 basketball team got off to a fast start last Tuesday with an impressive win over the engineering department 97-66. Jack Gailbraith led all scorers with 33 points. Gailbraith also recorded 9 rebounds, 4 assists, 6 ass-slaps, and 2 “celebratory” penis-fondles (1 self, 1 teammate). The M1 class did not field a team this year, fueling speculation that the M1 men are indeed the “Brokeback class.” A/C Review A/C Review is only a few months away. Start working on those skits and movies now before it is too late. Recall: Ready For Some Hot Rabbit Sex? Reams, Mary would like to recall the message, "Ready For Some Hot Rabbit sex?". |
||
|
|
||||
OB/GYN clinics are finding creative ways to festoon their speculums
The end of Black History Month has people talking
The members of Lab J welcomed a new face this week as they tackled a tough PBL case, but any new member always has the potential to cause disruption.
Ben Morrison would like the person who has a possession of a dark Old Navy thong to contact him.
